The 23 Apples of Eris

Secret Underground Lair of DrJon, 62 Aftermath 3174 / 11.23pm The Disclave of the Committee for Public Safety made a declaration on the emancipation of Popehood on Sunday evening. The declaration seeks to establish and safeguard the right of every man, woman and child to be their own Pope, by making the very concept of Popehood open source, free (as in speech, as it is in beer, so help us Bob), and kopyleft, being expressly mandated for official use by all the peoples of the world, as duly authorised by the Disclave of the Committee for Public Safety.

The statement cited a “great increase of affection and esteem for all the Peoples of the World” in recent years as contributing to a desire for men, women and children everywhere to be responsible for their own spiritual welfare, instead of burdening some old dude with a questioned background in Italy.

Due to high demand, the Disclave has felt it necessary to declare that “all the Peoples of the World have the right to be responsible for their own spiritual determination, and therefore, to ensure the respect for these universal rights, they shall be released into the arms of all who wish to avail themselves of them, to protect and defend them from those who would imprison them behind tissue walls of paper and lies, man. Smash the system. Hail Eris! Right on.”

The declaration alludes to attempts to “copy-right”, to claim “ownership”, of the very concept of Popehood itself by certain dark, shadowy figures and organisations.

“Consequently, the use of anything referring directly to the concept or right of Popehood by any man, woman, or child… and/or the use of the title ‘Pope’, is made entirely free and clear. Absolutely No Authorisation is required at any time by or from any agency. All Rights Reversed. Here, have a Pope Card. Think for yourself, schmucks” concluded the message released to the press.

The Pope Card, as proffered to the Press: