The Omitterre Libellus is another work produced by the Jonesboro House of Eris’ Science and Fnord Committee. It was edited by Rev. St. Pope Ol Boy Floats HC and collated by Episkopos Ralph Radix Fenderson McKenzie Etal, KFFC.
This list was compiled by Episkipos Cain after an extended outing on MysticWicks, a pagan message forum. After Discordians board a place en mass, you start to see this nitpicky tribal mentality where No Dogs Or Discordians are allowed because we’re not a real religion. Cain’s comments are in italics.
1. “I’m just sick of it. Every time I come to MW there’s a new issue with you and a select group of Discordians. So you worship chaos, big fuging deal. Give it a rest already.”
Try replacing Discordians with Wiccans and Chaos with Triple Goddess and let the accusations of persecution flood in. Also, hilariously, this was in reply to a post by TGGR parodying the views of select forum members, to a degree.
2. “Yeah, I have seen alot of it popping up on the boards. I also noticed that every time I see one [a Discordian], it seems to be laden with arguments and negativity. Something as simple as an introduction, turns into mayhem!! I’ll pass on those threads and posts thank you, they take the enjoyment out of conversation. I have never seen as many arguments on the boards as I have since those posts have started.”
3. “We didn’t set out to hurt Discordianism. We set out to rid our community of trolls. We hope our community will be a better place as a result.”
90% of those “trolls” ‘just happened’ to be Discordians.
4. “Someone hacked into my ebay account. Loverly. Very mature. Guard your butt Ssanf, you’ve just painted a big old target on it.”
Incidentally, none of us were behind the hacking.
5. “I think a couple of bad apples came in here, calling themselves Discordians (and I don’t have any way to judge whether they really were or not) and they started baiting people and trying to cause more chaos than is strictly natural, and when the shit hit the fan they rallied some of the other Discordians around them because they were “being persecuted.”
6. “Congratulations. This isn’t the forum for Chaos. This is a sanctuary, not a factory.”
Because Discordians…like factories? I don’t get it.
7. “The most fatuous, manipulative, and venomous people to be found here are all of the discordian genre.”
8. “A successful and a good discordian, is one who gets others angry, upset, and is skilled at mocking and belittling them.The better they are at it, the more they are respected by thier peers.”
Partially true, but hardly the whole story (also, fixed for spelling and grammatical errors).
9. “A True Discordian does not spend all their time making sarcastic posts on internet forums. In fact, a majority of “Discordians” you see online are not really true Discordians, but nothing more than attention seekers.”
Apparently reading the Principia once makes you an expert on what other people really believe too, at least going by the above poster.
10. “I’ve always, always regarded the Discordians as being people who chose to be Discordians because they can’t be arsed to actually do any work to develop a relationship with a specific deity, they were too wishy-washy to choose just one path, and they just want to be a mishmash of everything and not have to work at learning about rituals or traditions or any such thing as that. “Oooh, I’m a Discordian! I can do whatever I want! Which means I can just SAY I’m a pagan but I never bother doing rituals or studying any kind of sacred texts or developing a relationship with deity, etc! I can go around and not be Christian, but I won’t quite be anything else either because I just can’t commit and I can’t be ARSED to commit!”
Spoiled brats of the pagan world, I thought. I really don’t have a lot of respect for Discordians. They just strike me as spiritually lazy.”
Too hilarious to comment on.
11. “Just out of curiosity are any of you discordians raising or will raise your children in your beleif system?…I know silly question, of course you would, but with my experiences with Discordians and Chaos Mages lately I would be concerned for the child.”
12. “mmm, it’s like a troll breeding facility isn’t it. Maybe there’s an undergound complex like Area 51 where the genetically engineer them?”
Said in reference to EB&G forums
13. “In other words, Discordianism, like postmodernism, means never having to say your sorry.”
14. “I’m starting to think discordian is just another word for annoying. It certainly doesn’t seem to have any hallmarks of a consistent or coherent belief system.”
15. “At least Satanists HAVE a worldview. After reading this thread, I’m convinced that discordians not only don’t, but will actively mock anyone who does.”
16. “Followers of Eris…I will not allow you to spread ‘discord’ in my forum just like I won’t let Christians proselytize.”
Because its practically the same thing, right?
Early in my illumination, during the beginnings of the 23 Apples of Eris cabal, I had a spontaneous hallucination of walking through the endless plains of Limbo.
I wandered the dusty, blasted landscape for what felt like Aeons. Then, through the blowing dust and sand, I saw a glimmer of light. Neon red characters winked at me through the howling storm. As I approached I began to make out other details. The still unreadable baleful red characters were hugged in two curves of eerie blue. The winds died for the 23rd time that hour and a tingle ran up my hominid spine at what the calm revealed.
Squatting on the desolate plains of Limbo, a single building stands intact. A wide low rectangle of dark glossy stone which the eye slides across like it wants to look somewhere else. At least, ‘rectangular’ was the only word my feeble monkey brain cold conjure to describe the structure. The corners of the object were the most disconcerting, refusing to be statically observed, forcing your gaze back to the mind killing landscape while they resumed their non-Euclidian folding unobserved.
Remembering what had originally caught my attention I calmed my panicked glancing about. Yes! There, on the front the the building. What? No… that’s not possible….
I crept closer, a hundred warnings from a hundred Mythos tales shouting from the back of my mind. At last my cautious approach delivered me just out of arm’s reach from the thing.
Affixed at convenient eye level, and next to a large door that appeared to be covered in strange leather and brass studs, a cheerful, neon red-and-blue ‘Open’ sign flickered at me in the way that only well used neon can.
Mind blown, the robot consciousness takes over. I feel as if I float above my body, watching numbly as it opens the door with a simple push. I watch as I walk stiffly through the opening into the waiting tendrils of mist beyond the open portal. My perspective follows, floating towards the impossible entrance. Out of the corner of my eye I notice the great studded leather door begins to swing closed. For a second I wonder if it will close before my mind enters the space beyond, leaving me disembodied and stranded among the sands of nowhere. I panic. Time seems to slow, the door creeping across the last foot of space like a shadow across a sundial. The adrenaline hits my system like a cop tasing a 12 year old girl, I scream, flailing and running forward until my throat feels like it will bleed.
Before I can realize that a bleeding throat means I still have a meat-sack to inhabit, something tough, wet, and fishy smelling hits me square in the face so hard I fly backward. I black out as my head slams onto the hard ground.
I wake, head afire, eyes screwed closed against any light. I hear horrible wet slithering sounds. Then, as if in response a gruff older man’s voice. “Y’ think he’ll come to?” More brief wet sounds. My head feels like it is wrapped in cotton and my eyelids won’t respond to my will, only twitching briefly. Suddenly, a thought that is most definitely not mine presses against my still fuzzy mind. This is very difficult to put into word-symbols after the fact, please bear with me. It was as if a giant tentacle the texture of a cat’s tongue wrapped itself around my mind. I felt a dizzying lurch of movement and in my minds eye catch glimpses of strange underwater architecture towering over beds of seaweed all lit in an otherworldy green glow. The rush of motion stops and I.. I… imagine I guess is the word, a huge luminous orb set into rolling folds of green algae covered flesh towering before me. The mottled patterns across the surface shift slightly and I realize that this immense eye is looking me up and down.
Forcing every part of my mind that is trying to convince me that just giving up and going insane would be easiest and most logical thing to do to shut the hell up, I realize that I can still feel my eyelids pressed tightly together. I snap them open and blink into dingy overhead light.
Standing before me are two large figures. The first my sight slides off of, like trying to focus on the corners of the building. The second is a large, muscled older man with a grizzled beard and an eyepatch. He wears a stained brown apron and is cleaning a large glass mug with a dingy towel and stares at the first figure. I notice a name-tag on the apron. It says
Hello my name is…
Suddenly the first figure shifts and the wet slithering sound returns. At the same time, another sand-paper textured alien thought pierces my mind, projecting words which I know aren’t mine, yet feel like lead hitting granite blocks when they appear:
HE’LL BE FINE. POOR SUCKA JUST NEEDS A DRINK.
My mind scrabbles looking for a detail on the second figure that I can focus my gaze on. After maddening glimpses of folded wings, terrible claws, writhing tentacles, and barnacle covered… wait.. was that an elbow? a knee? …my gaze locks onto a familiar rectangular shape. A name tag:
Hello my name is…
I pass the fuck out. Again.
Luckily, when I next awake there is a drink in my hand and Wotan is passing me a blunt.
I’ve spent some time exploring the Principia Discordia forums recently looking through the GASM discussions. It’s very interesting looking though the formative discussions that were the beginning of what are probably some of the most exciting projects in Discordia at present.
During these formative discussions, there was a bit of a debate going on about who Intermittens was for. Was it simply a PD project? Or was it bigger than that? Should it be made easier for people to participate in Intermittens without being part of PD, or should they just get into gear, get with the program and get an account?
I’m very passionate about Intermittens, mostly because I think it’s probably the most engaging, community centered project in Discordia at present. My view is that it belongs to Discordia in all its forms, to every Discordian in every nation, over every ocean, hiding in every cupboard!
Intermittens has hit double figures. Just by reading through a few copies you can watch it evolve and mutate into an interesting and bizarre creature, with each edition expanding and modding what has come before.
I would like to take this moment to invite EVERYONE to participate in Intermittens. You can participate by submitting writing or images, by electing to edit an edition, or just by submitting your ideas. This is a call to arms and hairy legs, for all Discordians to rise up and become a part of this very interesting and engaging project.
Where do you start? Well, while I have just emphasized that I don’t think PD.com should BE Intermittens it IS a fantastic starting point, not least because that will put you in contact with the people who have already done this. Bang out an account and post your honorable intentions in the appropriate area.
Finally, I monitor the Intermittens email at present; Intermittens at gmail.com. Send articles, artwork, requests for info, or provide advice for IM readers/writers (I’ll be using these to compile an ‘info pack’ to send out.)
(Edit: The best place to submit on the IM site is the FORUM.)
by concentrating on goals
without playing ego games,
much can be accomplished.
Chao Te Ching, Cp 60.