This list was compiled by Episkipos Cain after an extended outing on MysticWicks, a pagan message forum. After Discordians board a place en mass, you start to see this nitpicky tribal mentality where No Dogs Or Discordians are allowed because we’re not a real religion. Cain’s comments are in italics.
1. “I’m just sick of it. Every time I come to MW there’s a new issue with you and a select group of Discordians. So you worship chaos, big fuging deal. Give it a rest already.”
Try replacing Discordians with Wiccans and Chaos with Triple Goddess and let the accusations of persecution flood in. Also, hilariously, this was in reply to a post by TGGR parodying the views of select forum members, to a degree.
2. “Yeah, I have seen alot of it popping up on the boards. I also noticed that every time I see one [a Discordian], it seems to be laden with arguments and negativity. Something as simple as an introduction, turns into mayhem!! I’ll pass on those threads and posts thank you, they take the enjoyment out of conversation. I have never seen as many arguments on the boards as I have since those posts have started.”
3. “We didn’t set out to hurt Discordianism. We set out to rid our community of trolls. We hope our community will be a better place as a result.”
90% of those “trolls” ‘just happened’ to be Discordians.
4. “Someone hacked into my ebay account. Loverly. Very mature. Guard your butt Ssanf, you’ve just painted a big old target on it.”
Incidentally, none of us were behind the hacking.
5. “I think a couple of bad apples came in here, calling themselves Discordians (and I don’t have any way to judge whether they really were or not) and they started baiting people and trying to cause more chaos than is strictly natural, and when the shit hit the fan they rallied some of the other Discordians around them because they were “being persecuted.”
6. “Congratulations. This isn’t the forum for Chaos. This is a sanctuary, not a factory.”
Because Discordians…like factories? I don’t get it.
7. “The most fatuous, manipulative, and venomous people to be found here are all of the discordian genre.”
8. “A successful and a good discordian, is one who gets others angry, upset, and is skilled at mocking and belittling them.The better they are at it, the more they are respected by thier peers.”
Partially true, but hardly the whole story (also, fixed for spelling and grammatical errors).
9. “A True Discordian does not spend all their time making sarcastic posts on internet forums. In fact, a majority of “Discordians” you see online are not really true Discordians, but nothing more than attention seekers.”
Apparently reading the Principia once makes you an expert on what other people really believe too, at least going by the above poster.
10. “I’ve always, always regarded the Discordians as being people who chose to be Discordians because they can’t be arsed to actually do any work to develop a relationship with a specific deity, they were too wishy-washy to choose just one path, and they just want to be a mishmash of everything and not have to work at learning about rituals or traditions or any such thing as that. “Oooh, I’m a Discordian! I can do whatever I want! Which means I can just SAY I’m a pagan but I never bother doing rituals or studying any kind of sacred texts or developing a relationship with deity, etc! I can go around and not be Christian, but I won’t quite be anything else either because I just can’t commit and I can’t be ARSED to commit!”
Spoiled brats of the pagan world, I thought. I really don’t have a lot of respect for Discordians. They just strike me as spiritually lazy.”
Too hilarious to comment on.
11. “Just out of curiosity are any of you discordians raising or will raise your children in your beleif system?…I know silly question, of course you would, but with my experiences with Discordians and Chaos Mages lately I would be concerned for the child.”
12. “mmm, it’s like a troll breeding facility isn’t it. Maybe there’s an undergound complex like Area 51 where the genetically engineer them?”
Said in reference to EB&G forums
13. “In other words, Discordianism, like postmodernism, means never having to say your sorry.”
14. “I’m starting to think discordian is just another word for annoying. It certainly doesn’t seem to have any hallmarks of a consistent or coherent belief system.”
15. “At least Satanists HAVE a worldview. After reading this thread, I’m convinced that discordians not only don’t, but will actively mock anyone who does.”
16. “Followers of Eris…I will not allow you to spread ‘discord’ in my forum just like I won’t let Christians proselytize.”
Because its practically the same thing, right?
on 
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10 is my favorite. Pagans calling something a mishmash!
They seem to be all about “consistent and coherent” belief systems. What is the point of that?
Really there are many different Pagan traditions and Discordianism is one of them. Wiccans are Pagans but not all Pagans are Wiccan! There’s many different types of Pagans. I have a section about Wicca its at http://lorien.loveshade.org/wicca/ I really have to update the part about my current coven its totally out of date. Ill do that when schools out for summer!
Obviously, they must be better than us. They have *standards*, you know. They have a *coherent belief system*… how can we compete against that?!
(Answer: with discord, of course. And whipped cream.)
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Iason Ouabache and DISCORDIAN SOCIETY, reaper man. reaper man said: RT @jablair51: The 16 best quotes about Discordians (taken from MysticWicks) http://bit.ly/cZ5Qne #23ae #fnord #lail [...]
They also hate Pumpkinites.
“A True Discordian does not spend all their time making sarcastic posts on internet forums.”
Yeah, right…
As you said, Discordians do not all fit into the same lump. Personally, I’m more into hitting a website or person and running which leaves them wondering what hit them. I think that’s more likely to get them thinking and less likely to get them to close their minds than continuing to hit them. I like to let people do their own thing and am not into continued trolling and hanging around to harass, but that’s me. To each es own.
I do like quote 10, though, even though some of the most active and productive Discordians I know take their beliefs seriously.
Princess Unicornia and Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko are respectively High Priestess and Priestess of a real Wiccan coven that mixes in Discordianism; TawTew the Naturally Perfumed is a Priestess in a Pagan Coven; Sister Hooter really is in charge of a home for girls who’ve gotten into “trouble” and e and Captain “Sesame Seed” Rogers really do lead Shamlicht Kids Club nests where they do talk to them about Discordianism and being free to make their own decisions in life while considering the needs of others; Shamlicht Al and Minime really do lead an SKC chapter and both of them are involved in a religious/philosophical group; etc. And I myself really am a Discordian–which has been interpreted as my saying I’m a “really real Discordian,” which I didn’t say.
Revy Love’s right Yoshi and I are real Wiccans and we aren’t the only ones who are both. We believe Discordia is a real aspect of Goddess. Really it doesn’t make sense Discordians harassing Pagans when they are pagans! And Sister Lorraine of Fairy Tree and Nixie Nurita are Discordians and Christians! Theres nothing in Discordianism that says you can’t believe more than one thing!
I am not a pagan!
How come we don’t have interesting presidents like Discordian V-sign flashing Richard M. Nixon anymore? Obama makes nice speeches, but he’s not really that exciting. George W. Bush made Nixon look like a bleeding heart liberal, but other than being a great source for stupid quotes, Dubya was boring. Clinton wasn’t very exciting either, other than his sex life we didn’t get to see, and Bush Sr. was pretty dull.
Ronald Reagan was interesting. He got shot in an assassination attempt, bullet collapsed his lung and missed his heart by one inch. As they were beginning to operate in an attempt to save his life, he said to the surgeons, “I hope you’re all Republicans!”
They should have made Reagan president again instead of George W. Bush. Yeah, I know he put America in huge debt, but so did Dubya. And he made stupid speeches about “evil empires,” but so did Dubya. And he wasted tons of money on the so-called War on Drugs, but so did Dubya. But Reagan at least wasn’t completely a puppet, and he didn’t sound nearly as stupid.
I bet that when Reagan had Alzheimer’s disease, he still made more sense than George W. Bush.
how long ago did this happen and you faggots are still bragging about this shit as if it were a common occurrence that happened last week?
Who’s bragging? It’s a collection of quotes. It was originally posted in February 2008 (check the link). And why do you think we’re homosexuals? I have nothing against homosexuality, but I can assure you that does not describe my sexual orientation. Omnisexual would be closer. And if it was a common occurrence, why would we be bragging about it? People don’t usually brag about things that are common, like, “Say, I went fishing this weekend and caught an average size fish! Honest!”
By the way, I really like elephants. Got any pics of yourself?
As usual, people seem to be saying that Discordians do this or Discordians do that, but that is complete bullshit, I don’t do anything some other Discordians do, and they don’t do what I do.
Tarring us all with the same brush will only lead to further hilarity and confusion.
Definitely confusion though.
ahdkaw>
That’s exactly the tongue-in-cheek point of this post. ^__^