This Glossification is in no way meant to be complete or incomplete. It is merely our attempt to pontificate and matriculate upon words, phrases and other gibber that appear in this webpage so you stop asking us stupid questions.
23 APPLES OF ERIS
The 23 Apples of Eris is a Discordian Cabal that you probably may have heard something about and then again, there is really no reason why you should have. It consists of Ambrose Bierce, Prince Mu-Chao, Happy Fun Ball, Ambrose Bierce, MarshMellow Fluff, Temptress Lola Chaiota, Ambrose Bierce and a slew of other Discordian and Discordianesque-type people. Known to hold hands with the Randy Caboose Cabal on occasion. You are currently looking at their webpages, you turnip.
23-Skidoo is an UnOfficial Discordian Drop Phrase. It may be pilfered from John Dillinger (or someone before him even) and is assumed by these authors to mean GOODBYE. The “Skidoo” part is probably alteration of skedaddle. The 23 part… you’re not cleared for.
Abnormail is the dissemination of various forms of mail (electronic, paper, plastic, pony, etc.) toward the purpose of a.) sharing valuable info or b.) freaking the mundanes or c.) keeping boredom at bay. The best place I have found for abnormail is my email box after I signed up for the Yahoo Group: Discordia (now defunct & remade).
Former home of the 23 Apples of Eris, now dead and buried.
Cook-Note Fiberglass is a game created by Happy Fun Ball and Prince Mu-Chao. Consult the Games section for more info.
If you do not know who Eris is, you had better read the Principia Discordia first or else none of this is going to make any sense to you. Of course, the Principia doesn’t make all that much sense itself either, so I guess you are just fucked. Go get an orange smoothy and chill to reruns of Sanford and Son.
The existence and meaning of FNORD is too difficult to go into here. We have other things to do. Consult your Pineal Gland or The Hunting of the Fnord.
A “Jake” is a sometimes-illuminating, always weird attack (see Operation: Mindfuck) against an individual or a company for a reason or perhaps for no reason at all. For example, the members of Yahoo Group: Discordia, along with a slew of other Discordians, jaked Yahoo into moving the Discordian section out of “Parody Religions”. The same group had a weekly jake against a random citizen of the world. We picked the name out of the white pages and everybody on the list sent them something weird. We say it is to illuminate them, but it is really mostly to amuse ourselves.
KALLISTI means “To The Prettiest One”. It was written on the apple of Acapulco Gold that Our Lady Eris rolled down the aisle the Miss America Contest which, after they all went to Paris to shop, enticed the Battle of the Network Stars where David Caruso was viciously buggered by a horse wearing a Trojan Condom in a Discordian Porn Movie entitled, Lawn Gnomes on Crack: The Pussies of Pan. Or something like that.
True to their name, Lawn Gnomes can sometimes be found on lawns. Other times, they are found in Discordian Porn Movies laced out on crack, copulating with cabbages and attacking mailwomen (or mailmen even). You can never tell.
Prince Mu-Chao was lucky enough to be in the vicinity of a catfight between two MAGICK (or MAGIC) (or MAJICK) users arguing over the spelling of the word MAGIC. Prince Mu-Chao brought up Cabala and they were not arguing about the spelling of MAGIC anymore. From that point on, Prince Mu-Chao decided to spell the word MAJIX, in which you perform TWIX. Immediately, a splinter group of the 23 Apples of Eris, led by Hexar le Saipe, decided that THEY would spell it “Majique” and so the battle rages on.
Answering the phone with “Wrong number, please!”
Operation: Mindfuck is a disorganized attempt to brainwash the rest of society…. oh excuse me. Did I say brainwash? I meant… to Illuminate and Enlighten the rest of society and convince them to live by our rules (or non-rules or meta-rules).
Sink is a Discordian Game that first appeared in the original Principia Discordia in which contestants sink various useless items (such as the Capitol Building) for Valuable Cash Prizes. More info in the Games section.
Soup is what your mother made you eat as a kid when you were sick.
The Church of the Subgenius is an “offshoot” of Discordia. Instead of Eris, they worship a Golden Calf called BOB who looks like a 50’s father figure with a pipe. They celebrate the fact that they are not smart (ie – SUBgenius). They are typically very violence-oriented and rant entirely too much, pretending they are fire-and-brimstone preachers. The FBI should certainly concentrate on them instead of us. Their holy book claimed that the world was going to end on X-DAY (July 5, 1998?) and when it didn’t they keep moving the date every year.
Yes, Wakdjunkaga really is one of the individuals who collectively make up the Trickster archetype. He was the Trickster God sacred to the Winnebago Indians and now that few of the Winnebagos are left, he lives on in the engines of big campers everywhere.