Sink and Its Variants

Traditional Sink

By Ala Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS

SINK is played by Discordians and people of much ilk.

PURPOSE: To sink object or an object or a thing- in water or mud or anything you; can sink something in.

RULES: Sinking is allowed in any manner. To date, ten pound chunks of mud were used to sink a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit of water or a hole to drop things in. But rivers – bays – gulfs – I dare say even oceans can be used.

TURNS are taken thusly: whosomever gets the junk up in the air first.

DUTY: It shall be the duty of all persons playing “SINK” to help find more objects to sink, once; one object is sunk.

UPON SINKING: The sinker shall yell “I sank it!” or something equally as thoughtful.

NAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The object is named by the finder of such object and whoever sinks it can say for instance, “I sunk Columbus, Ohio.”

Online Sink

This was found on Alt.Discordia and was written by El Guapo. This could be a very irritating game to play. I would suggest trying to temper your discussion (or create a whole new version of ONLINE SINK).

This game can be played by any number of Discordians. First, pick a
discussion group at random (any topic will do). The discussion group
represents the “body of water”. The cyber entities within the group
represent the “floating things”. As in the original game, the object is
to “sink” the “floating things.”

Since it is impossible to hit things with rocks and stuff over the internet (sigh), in order to sink a cyber entity you must drag said entities into a ridiculous argument as posed by one or more Discordians.

If a Discordian is acting alone, which is often the case, then two or more sides of the argument must be posed by he or she using different cyber names.

If a cyber entity agrees or upholds any side of said argument then they will be considered “SUNK”, at which time the Discordian who sank them will post RE: Name of Sinkee SUNK! All further posts presented by a “sunken entity” will then be ignored by all players. This will leave the entity confused and agitated, thereby creating chaos and spreading our faith like soft cheese upon the unsuspecting masses. Have fun kids!

Sink: The Program

This is a very cheesy game developed in our labs in the 1990s, where in you may sink things. It should work on most windows machines that were around in the 90s.

Download ZIP

Fetch

Fetch was invented when we were writing the 23.5 Version of the Principia Discordia. The main reason it was created was because we had lots of empty space to fill. This, however, does not detract from the game.

When one runs out of things to Sink, should one stop playing and get to more serious work? Hell, no. Just Sink yourself and play Get.

Or, better yet, don't sink yourself and play Fetch instead.

Get a bunch of greyfaces together and tell them that if they fetch all the stuff you Sank, you'll tell them the Secret of the Universe. If they still won't do it, offer them money. All greyfaces like money, and are willing to do just about anything to get it.

Fetch works best when the greyfaces were not around when you were playing Sink. If they know that all that is in the water is a couple of rocks, an empty beer bottle, and Columbus, Ohio they probably won't bother going after it. Just tell them vaguely that there are “very valuable artifacts” in the water (or whatever liquid you decided to use in your game of Sink). Bandy about the word “treasure”. That seems to work the best.

After they Fetch all you Sank, play Sink again!

IMPORTANT: If the greyface gives you any flak about not paying them, perform the Turkey Curse.

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