Our Lady Did Roll Her Toy

When Our Lady did roll her toy,
The apple of chaotic joy,
Paris did choose
The prettiest flooze.
In nutshell, the battle of Troy.

But her deeds are most terrific,
The volume of work specific.
Penned only by fools
Who follow no rules;
It’s nothing short of prolific.

So here I will tell a story
Of a time o’ ancient and hoary –
When Eris confined
And blindly maligned
St. Droopy in all her glory.

St. Droopy, a hippie outsider
After a bite from a spider
Eris beholden –
She shat apples golden!
And thrice would even piss cider!

It was then that Eris heard
It was Droopy that Thetis preferred.
She did not come to
The wedding ado
And developed a plan most absurd.

In case you haven’t yet guessed,
Eris came a-wholly possessed
With making a tool
From Droopy’s fresh stool
To cause Chaos once it was blessed!

She chained Droopy up to a wall
In Castle Chaos’s front hall
And said with a whoop
“Ready your poop!
I’ll teach them once n’ for all!”

Those without originality
Claim the Apples of Immortality
Were what Eris uses
To set off the fuses.
But we don’t ascribe that banality.

We mostly continue to think
That Saint forged the chaotic link
Between Eris and Troy
With that golden decoy
Though never is mentioned the stink!

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