What is Discordianism?

Originally posted to 23ae by Ratatosk, Squirrel of Discord.

It seems that there are three ways that people view Discordianism.

First, the greyfaces who either don’t understand, or think that it’s a joke-on-religion. They have no idea about the balance of Chaos and Discord. These people I prank, jake and otherwise have fun with.

The second are people who are Discordian at heart, you can see their eyes open, you can feel the years of greyfaced debris sliding away and if you’re lucky, the Goddess shows up and welcomes her lost child (not always in human form of course… the bird that drops a nice gift on their head in passing is a great example). These people I embrace and call brother, sister, nephew, niece or third cousin twice removed (esp. if it’s a cute girl I want to date).

The third, ah sadly, the third…. These are the ones that think they are Discordian. They’re the ones that preach that Discordianism is a “Welcome with open arms” sort of religion. They’re the ones who think that Discordianism is simply ‘standing against the man’ and that ‘trying’ is just as good as doing. Folks, it’s not, it isn’t and if you try and fail, the goddess will point and laugh her sexy arse off. These people, I let the goddess deal with.

Heck, she probably will anyway, because I’ll bet that they are clueless enough to pray to her.

Eris is not about ‘getting along with others’, Eris is not about ‘Accepting people who are different’ and Eris is definitely not about ‘considering other people’s feelings’.

Eris is mighty and terrible.

She will fuck up your day if you piss her off, and she will fuck up your day if she loves you and you have pleased her. That’s what she does.

Read this and recall the words of the sacred Pentabarf.

And every hunchback is followed by a solider, which in turn is followed by a hunchback.

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