The Gwydion Bible

The Word of Eris as told by

Prophet Gwydion Alcaspe Khalid

Introduction

I debated subtitling these, editing them for spelling, and maybe even adding comments, but resisted the impulse. The only thing such heinous acts of comprehension would do is ruin the pure magic of the Prophet’s statements. Thus, my editorial duties consisted merely of choosing which quotes of Gwyd’s to include and which section to include them under. All spelling and punctuation is the Prophet’s own and was undoubtedly done on purpose and with full malice of forethought. In places where it looks like the quote was taken out of context, well, it looked that way to us too when we first saw it. Good Luck.

The Book of Fizzix and Other Purported Sciences
The Book of Love
The Book of Cuisine
The Book of YHWH, his Virgin Ho, and Their Brat
The Book of Philosophy
The Book of Imbalance
The Book of Portugal
The Book of Media
The Book of the Occult
The Book of English
The Book of Politics
The Book of Holidays
The Book of Confusion
The Book of Explanations

The Book of Fizzix and other Purported Sciences

U got me thinking of Schrodingers Cat.
If U locke a cat in a box and poison it
the cat will be alive and dead at the same time!

I like chemistry better, because of the colloured liquids inside of the little bottles!

it is scientificly proven that people with blue eyes are stuppider, because the light penetrares more into their eyes, and it dammages theyr brain!

For the next five minutes I will belive in evolutionism!

I’m not your mother, I can’t be, I have the wrong plumbing.

I think that carl sagan is a little bit arrogant!

I am totally unhable to catch moving objects…
specially when they are moving towards me!

does anyone know an hallucinogen that leaves youin a state where you do not move!

how come energy possesses inteligence?

My father can’t lol

why are the houses in the US made out of wood?
they could be made of bricks, cimment and or stone!
they would last longer, and they wouldn’t burn as much!

SO was that guy in the university of Bagdad, who just about 1000 years before, said that if you could crack an atom, you could use the power to destroy

Do you know why don’t ostrichs’ fly?
Because it would be a pain if they shited on you!

ok…
the moon has just disaperared…

the 5th dimension is 0


The Book of Love

anyway, I’m starting some offensives now.
the only problem, is that the victim of the offensives is my cousin, and I’m afraid that the condom fails, and i’ll father a 4 legged children!

me prepares the whip and the CHAIR

I can’t even get a discordian cat, or a discordian sheep, how am I suposed to get a discordian woman?

I’m what you would call an Octosexual, I can have sex with everything that has holes in it…. (actualy holes aren’t necessary at all).

Venus is the condom star.

Can I have non-bastard children If I marry mysellf?

yes, sex with betty davies bones!

By the way where is the clirotis?

And what the famous The Exorcist scene where the girl mastrubates with a
crucifix….
We could put someone masturbating with an apple!

I really didn’t like those orgasmic moans, comming from the manager oficce!

I’ve just been to the worst or better wedding of my life.

That reminds me of my father… He keeps upsetting my pet birds when they
are copulating, cause he thinks that the small one is killing the big one!

What if I don’t have a penis?

I never felt the need to do something that my parents didn’t liked, just to cross them (exept for the need to put stange objects in my mouth!)

I’m not pregnant!

I kinda like put in my mouth, everything inanimated object that crosses my way, like pens, rubbers, books, paper tissues, papers, newspapers, wires, cds, etc

Does cunning have something to do with cunni?

Favourite Sesame Street Character: the Cockie Monster

maybe he has some erection problems (it is very comon I think) I assume that he has already passed is sexual prime times!

I think that women now when a man has a crush, because we get an erection
just because the person we have a chrush speaks to us
or touches us
etc.

like wild thang!
isn’t thang a juice?

I’ve not been able to log on to my thingy!

I’m currentrly undergoing on this sexual obssecion for religion!

Get him horny online, and then cut his dick off…
with your teeth or with a spoon…
or with a spork… (the image of ripping his penis off with a spork should be a really really major turn off)…
anyway, I’m going to fuck up his thingys…

Throw me agains a wall and call me a caterpiller.

they showed me a picture of a penis with sifilis, at a very young age, and that stoped me from doing somethings!

Oh baby, let me (verb) you with my (adjective) (noun).
could you give an example?
Oh baby, let me touch you with my sticky hands.

I’m thinking in adopting….
that way; I could have a children, without that dipper thingy!

In the sex part, i’ve written, that “”I have it every sabbath, but since my
genitals, where cut off at birth, I use my tongue””
NOTE: I’m not castrated, it is a joke.

I wonder if chinese women have theire orgasm’s in chinese?

I would like to have a cthulhu sex toy

We can rule the world
If we start breeding…

there are some people without funcional sex organs.

my clenaing lady, has a very, very, very big mustache.

I would rather have the queens adress…
I wan’t to know if she uses the toilet or not.

Just the other day on television I saw a man spanking a pig’s monkey. When I noticed it at first, it seemed like the man was extracting milk or something…
Than I noticed the happy grin in the pigs face!
(did anyone know that big pigs have small diks?)

Did you know that an average woman eats about 2kg of lipstick during her life.
I have worn lipstick too. In my initiation in to college has a freshmen. They painted me quite a lot. I think I was wearing lipstick everywere except on the lips.

I have a pagan dildo.

“”Karma karma acordean,
You cum and go
You come and g.ooooooooo,………

I also lLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEE to chew gumm…. and when I am not able to chew gumm, I will chew just about anything!

Just love children…. I would really like to have one of my one, but I can’t seem to put myself to the trouble of making one!

Ok, just an intsy bitsy litte question
are you male or female?


The Book of Cuisine

me eats spargetti with ketchup!

I’ve just vomited all over my living room
I’ve vomited parts of my lunch
for hours after dinner!

in here the only drug that they can aford is wine!

In China people eat dogs!

I found that if you take a hudge amount of caffeine and vitamine-C, before and after you get drunk, you don’t get such a hangover…

I baked muffins today!

I didn’t really like the human finger stuffing, in my roasted fish last time.

I like cookies but I don’t like meat!

Shoped Pork And Ham?

I like Kosher, specially those Kosher products at the shops with those stamps, telling that those are kosher products. It kind of leaves those conspiracionists confused, I talked to a guy with this weired theory who said that these stamps existed, because jews would only buy products made by other jews, and that all of the products in our markets where filled with secret messages!

Just the other day, some guy tried to convince me that there was an international jewish conspiration to rule the world… one of the things that he delivered has a prove was the fact that jews who follow kosher, won’t buy food that isn’t kosher, he said that this was a thing that they did cause they didn’t want that non-jews would get richer! I say that there is a conspiration from vegetarians to rule the world, since vegetarians won’t buy things that aren’t vegetarian!

Well… eating black olives out of the can (I have never ate black olives in a can, in fact I have never seen black olives being sold in a can) is the same thing, pretty much has driking virgin olive oil!

I’m speaking to a cookie!

Strangely the girls were not being painted with lipstick, the where using food on them!

I think that cyanide is that taste of bitter almonds.
and the smell of almonds is the smell of benzaldeid!

I made some soup. But I incidently put a little bit of beetroot into it. That red one… Anyway the soup got brown… Kind of like babt poop!
I don’t know why everybody refused to eat it!


The Book of YHWH, his Virgin Ho, and Their Brat

We do not have thankisgiving here in Portugal, but has in any other country with a majority of catholics we have a lot of religious Holydays… In wich we can masturbate thinking of the Virgin Mary…

we shouldn’t be invaded by some pink-kitsh-shitty culture!
like it happened to Wicca.

no good chatholic would take a bath.

isn’t Jackobs Ladder a kabbalistic thingy?!?!?!?!

And then Mary Magdalene said to Jesus Christ:
“”Fuck me and marry me young!””

The Virgin Mary is speaking to me through my computer, she is walking over my title bar…..

I hate these fundamentalist christians suns of bitches. They really make me mad…. To bad we don’t have a lot of them around here.

If I was the messiah, I would turn my owm blood into wine, so that I couldn’t get drunk!

I’m Thinking of naming my daughter if I have one
Eris Babalon ben Miriam ve-Yossef Castanheira Ginga
and my son If I have one
IHVH Adonai Eheieh Agla ben Miriam ve-Yossef Castanheira Ginga
or
IHSVH Isaac Elohim Theliel ben Miriam ve-Yossef Castanheira Ginga
I just have to find a jewish Mary to marry me!

the virgin mary was concived without the original sin
(does that mean that her parents didn’t eat apples)

I have a theory…
I think that 50% of all religions where created or reformed by charlatans.
and the other 50% where created or reformed by crazy persons!

I’m dazed… I was speaking with some guy in IRC, who said that he was a witch who was killed by the inquisition during the XII century, and then he returned has a inquisition priest, and then has a shaolin monk….
these are only three of his 1014 reincarnations…
He says that he has come to this life to answer to our dobts!

with priests and nuns you never know… They preach by day, and participite in wild orgys at the sound of Bauhaus by night!

whait a minute
yes I’m a muse… I influence things like fudamentalit texts and mein kampf, like in the movie dogma I don’t have a penis!

He is a God of War.
Elohim Sabaoth….
And yes, he gave the fundamentalist christian in the USA some tactical nukes, and if the Reformed Christians, will have their way there (those guyswho want to imput Mosaic Law has statual law) they will start use them, with those that don’t agree with them.

These christians terrorits…
Does anybody remenber me saying some time ago that some christian glue a christian fish to my mothers car?

Hummmmmm
I hate mormons….
They keep waiking me up in the morning…
Wich is weird, I didn’t know that they alowed blacks in theyre church.

St. Teresa of Avilla was a real freakish lady… She used to have orgasms or something has a religious experiment…. She use to hang out with a freakish guy too….
Rumor has it that she used to eat moldy bread… and that the mold in the bread had a chemical structure similar to acid, and she used to have acid trips!

they are the Church of Jesus Christ and The Latter Day Saints….
I belong to the Church of YHSVH Christo and the Latter Days Santas, the church founded originaly by Yossef Smith in 1830….The Latter Day Santas referes to our charity works, we like poor children very much, so we usualy find them work, at the local factorys, whore-houses and stuff…

I should have slept in satan’s bed….. Shouldn’t I?

Some years ago, My computer was possessed with the Virgin Mary, and a bunch of Flying Pigs.

Where were you when they crucified our lord?


The Book of Philosophy

is it just me the only one, lost and alone in this muggle universe!

Looking at and infinite number of directions at the same time….
Don’t U have to be a sphere to be hable to do that?

My wisdom teeth are being born…
It’s a real bitch!

I don’t think they burn crosses in ireland either…
Up there the crosses are made with stones….

Some people insist that I’m from a pararel universe!

You shouldn’t drink anything without alcohol.

Ohhhhh
Now I understand why Michael Jackson turned white!

Is he mindfucking us… Is he just stupid?

Maybe you are very smart, and just don’t realize it.
Ore you are very smart in a subject that you haven’t studied yet.

I can’t figure out what’s wrong with being a discordian!

I come across a lot of persons, who know all of the butterflies history, but who understand less of the chaos theory than me….

have you tried text without words
or drawings without colour?

Every Man, Woman, Children on this earth is a Mel.

Every man, woman and child on this earth is a fool!

I think that the greatest composer from the 20th century was some person who wasn’t discoverd yet.. probably some woman, who was keep always getting no’s from recording companies and stuff, who ended up living on the streets and who eventually died of hunger, AIDS or a heroin overdose. In the future, some construction workers will find all of her music writings, and will deliver them to some editors or directors or musicians, and will get famous because of it!

I don’t think that my advices are even of some use to me…
I think that the godess Eris, sends them through me, just to generate some chaos in the mailing list, so that it can rain in Meca tomorrow!


The Book of Imbalance

That reminds me of those crazy german artists that cut animals in half and put them on display!

Well do U sacrifice animals too? do U get out on sathurdays? do U have sex every thursday night? Once i invented a religion it was called
Heisenbergic Judaism of Saint Kirilov of the 8th day
Hail IHVH
Hail Eris
Hail to the God that lives in the Math departmente
Sigh Sigh Sputnick!
Elo Hi
Elo Hi
Canto Nero
Canto Nero
I don’t remeneber my name!

I don’t think that guns should be sold like candy….
(I have a weapon at the house, but it won’t kill anybody cause it is an heerloom from my greatgrand mother who liked to shoot at little birds or something… anyway It wouldn’t kill anyone if it worked)

My problem isn’t with myself. My problem is with others.

Have you ever tried to count dead Santa’s heads to sleep?

Could someone trow me against the wall and call me a little lizzard?

RAINING BLOOD!

Hi head a wet one, I went dancing in the rain, in the middle of a storm!

Wednesday I’m going to mass murder some wiccans!

I once saw a guy in the middle of a road trying to bullfight some cars!

i ended up in the hospital, with something that on my fathers mind was massive bleading! Anyway, I entered the bathroom , his beard things where on top of that thing to wash your hands… I spread the shaving cream on my face, and I cutted my hands with
the raisor.

maybe his mother tried to calm him down with a little bit of crack when he
was a baby!

Does anyone want a wiccan body part mailed to him?

speaking of killing a lot of people….
I’m being flooded with news, from a bunch of portuguese, that wen’t to brazil, to meet a friend and disapeared…
it turn’s out that they finnaly arested the so called friend, and found out the six guys. they have benn clubed and knifed and shoot.. like this guy, planed theire trip to brazil, to steal theire money… he didn’t asked for a ransom, he just killed them, and stole theire atm cards…. and guess what he only got from tha atms abou $30000 dollars, witsh isn’t much from six people

Usually I laugh myself to nosebleeds.
I never cried to one though.
I laughed till I cried. It’s kind of wierd, I can’t seem to cry on sad moments. I get all crazed up and I start to laugh like a maniak!

Spend your time thinkind how you can get even with society in a funny way. Like, I’m not speaking of picking up a gun and killing a lot of people. A funny thing.

I really love children and in the heat of the moment if I found someone raping a child I would probably kill that person.
and I’m going to have to go to sleep, because tomorrow I’ll start a fire using wiccans has wood!

It feels like I’m alone at home, speaking with myself, over the telephone!

I haven’t been here for the last few days, cause thursday, I got so drunk, that I feel into a river (unfortumably I missed the river, and I fell in a boat, wich by the way was called titanik)….

Why waste your tongue if U can use, nasal mucos?

I think that those people who hear voices telling them to rape and murder, hear the voice, from outside of theire ears!
I just remenbered that my inner voice probably doesn’t speak to me in languages since when i am distracted, I can’t tell in wich language i am listening, people are speaking to me , or I am reading!

I must admit to IT…..
I’M TOTALY ADICTED IN LEONARD COHEN…..
I even dream with the man at night!

Could you at least please kill me?
What day is today?

Sorry
I can help myself
I just can’t stop myself
I am going crazy….
lharc…..
hummmm
kill me!

My head is exploding…..
I have no stomach
I have no liver……
I’m dead.

HUmmmm
is anybody interested in a Jihad agains the Church of Sub-Genius?
We could raid they’re HQ, steal they’re webspace and they’re money, revive inquisition, torture them and burn them at the stake!


The Book of Portugal

I don’t have to pay for de Xerox machine, but I have to pay for the water…

when I ask for a glass of watter in galicia they bring me a toast

since this group seems to be out of the city limits (other groups) we also have to remenber the septic tank!

has anyone heard of plumbing?

I live in a very small country, in wheter you are close to the municipal sewage system, or you don’t have sewage at all, and have to go to the woods to take a dump!

I think I said this before….
I live in a semi-third world country, in here, who doesn’t live near the plumbing sistem (nobody lives very far from the plumbing sistem) doesn’t have plumbing at all. They just use the fields or something…

well
I know someone, who was born in the sink… my mother didn’t use pain killers, and she didn’t have much pain (well, she took public transportations to the hospital) his mother, thinked that she was pissing, and the baby was being born

For the first time last night, I encountered the lowest form of decadence in portugal (if you leave all the smelly decadence out). Stip bars and prostituion…

For some weird reason, besides the prostitutes, there where only men on the street.

moust of the portuguese heroes, where also, mass murders
or maniacs
or crazy persons….
like we had this queen, who spent her time promoting coups d’etat, like she helped someoe to overthrow the government, and she did the same six mounths later, to help to overthrow the government that she had established….
and whe had this king, who forced people, to recognize is dead wife has queen (his father, had her killed some years ago)… and I think that her body was on the room.
and we also have this guy named Fernando Po
and this other guy, named Fernão de Magalhãespr Ferdinand Magallean or something, who belived that the world was round, and that fell trough the egde of the world, trying to circunavegate the earth.
and we had this president, who took the electric car, to go to work at the palace, he had a social pass and everything….

People wearing pink or bright green training suits (you know, those thinks that people wear when they are practicing sports… no and they are not lycra.).

With black shoes and white socks…the man use large gold chains around theyr neckes, and have the top part of the training suits oppened, so that they can show theyre hairy breast. They also have a bigger nail (a very big nail) in the little finger, so that they can clean theire noses, ears and teeth.

Around here there is an alcohol problem, some of the older ones, seem normal, and people don’t even notice that they are alcoholic, and others are lets just say, they got stupid during time!

Salazar Slytherin is named Salazar because of our own personal dictactor… (he died 30 years ago… and he was a honest dictactor… he even had chickens in the palace (where he lived, to save money) to save money on food)…

I live in a third world country… we don’t know what a vallium is… if anyone want’s to get a good night’s sleep around her he or she has to bang his/her head against the wall till the loss of conciousness!

don’t move to hispania, we don’t have trailler parks…….(TORI AMOS) we just have degraded neighbourhoods, and “”houses”” build with wood


The Book of Media

I just hope U don’t get shoot orr get tortured to death with brazilian soap-operas and get to see 21!

I think Marylin Manson should burn at the stake, toghether with all of it’s clones!

Donald Duck doen’t have a penis!

They Might Be Giants are discordian?
does this mean that I can’t buy theire cds?

become famous
apear on tv
go to prision
Then you will have lot’s of neurothic grils around you!

Pikachu.

The other day, I saw in TV a witch/stripper. Who claimed that she could take sexual power out of men.
She said that she had some spells, that would cause impotency or a decreases of the size of the male genitalia.
She was also a stripper, because she had seen a black saint (an African female saint) that told her to strip

unfortunably, I have never seen any movie directed by the worst director ever I think….

Oh my God
They’ve killed kenny.
Is this true, or is it just another one of those www.theonion.com stories?

Yes, I recently saw a portuguese movie, about this singer, who raped his 13 yo adoptive daghter (suposibly, that was what they said in the heart magazines, but he admited doing it in the movie) well moving on. The story was about the big preview of his show “”The Phantom of the Operet””, and he was constantly thinking of taking cocain, and by this he wanted to become and international artist.
But since noone really liked him, they conspirated with his old rival, who was by then an old alcoholic homeless, and his assistent Sissy La Masochiste, a french movie porn star, gave him 2 lb of plaster, instead of the cocaine(wich he had never seen), so his voice was permanently damaneged, and his old rival got the part.
Meanwhile on the background you would catch scenes of the owner of this two artists recording companie, and the storie of his divorce, because his 40 yo wife, was sleeping with the 18yo neighbour, and she kind of selled everything in the house, to buy him things like a motorcycle, a flat-screen tv, video games, computers, etc.

I once read a book by Josteen Gaarder, about a man who collected Jokers….
Ok I’m starting seeing things…

i’m thinking of killing myself. after watching jerry springer!
this was some weird thing, about a girl leaving her boyfriend, after she cheated on him for 8 months, with another girl…. then they find out that the other girl was six months pregnant of her girlfriend’s boyfriend…
and they had another case, about these this couple, the husband was sleeping with his wife’s best friend… the the wife’s best friend came, they had an argument…. then the wife’s bestfriend, boyfriend apeared, and he said that he was cheating on her with guys!

who the hell is ambrose bierce?

Catsup:?
Blackadder goes Forth:? Is it that groovy sauce that you get when you
squeeze a cat:?


The Book of the Occult

We’ll I’m totally against Eris….
And I am also against the Mystical assholes that have their heads full of shit that someone hammered into it!

Has anyone notices that Yah OO can be something from the kabbalah, destined to spell us all?

I feel stupid by doing this, but I thing I should warn you.
And although this seems like it, this isn’t a joke.
There is someone in the USA, selling the real necromicon, writen on human skin, to begginer discordians.
Yes I am serious.
There were at least 4 known cases.

I don’t know if this is of any importance.
But there is a really famous brasilian writer, that used to be a thelemite.
And i think he claims to have felt the devil or something in the bathroom.

I have just made, some thelemite cakes of light!

Weeeeeeeeee
I am the THoth Fairie!

NorthWind tradition, means that the wind that runs trough both of her ears, and occupies, the place where her brain should be. Runs in the direction from south to north!

I have found one girl, but she doesn’t like me, cause she is wiccan and she says that wicca is a paleolitic religion, and I say that she is wrong that that paleolitic religion she is speaking of, is the religion of the elephant dung!

ok
would you belive that my first website…
done at 16 with some friends
was deleted, because it had a pentagram!

I collect tarot decks, but I only use the thoth tarot! and I don’t use it for divination, because I don’t really belive in divination, cause I don’t belive in time!

I have just finished blessing all of my underpants(?is it called that way?) and all of my socks!
I’m very conservative when it comes to underware.

by the way, I’ve declared myself
Fluffy Bunny 666
or the bunny of the apocalypse
or the mini therion!

No I am not a wiccan, but (this is embarassing) I have been one, but only for a short while.

What is wicca older than discordia?
I have been telling everyone that discordia whas the ancient religion practiced in Atlantida.
The Atlanteans spread it all around the world, but it was corrupted by the phallocentric primitive peoples, and finally Eris Kallisti Discordia, achieved the status of an evil deity in such regions such has greece, italy and india.
And meanwhile Atlantis was destroyed.
Then the Godess decided to retire herself, and return when the world was ready for her.
So she took her space ship to Sirius, and stayed there, until the 50’s sending her little gray helpers to test people (hence the allien abductions).
So she returned in the 50’s and apeared with a monkey to 3 guys in a bowling halley in california. These people where chosen to write her sacred words in the form of hidden text messages.
She still sends her little gray helpers to test people, with probes and stuff to chose some illuminated ones, who then are hipnotized to find the Principia and become discordians!
sign: Frater Ain Aemeth

Can anybody belive, that yesterday some asshole atempted against my human rights by saying that I had seen spirits.
I answerd no.
and he wen’t on
Insisting that I had seen spirits
I replyed no, I advised him that he was going against my human rights and told him to go and seek some help.
And he continued saying that I had seen spirits!

Although I think it’s possible that the stars and planets may have an influence on our lifes, I don’t know why in astrology people don’t consider the energy released or reflected by your cloth and by just about everything that is around you!

Altough I take one year to understand a simple sentence moust of the times, I find the kabbalah easier than the yogic stuff

Has anyone who has never seen/heard about UFO’s abductions reported an anduction?


The Book of English

If even my 1st language is poor, why should my second be rich?

No… my english isn’t good enough to spell Kerosene correctly!

what the Fuck is a “”Procrastination””?!?!?!?!

What is Thealogy – the logic of tea?

What is a Kaka?

my mother is a bitch (I think this term can be used has a compliment can’t it?)

I think I’m a pope too or is it a poop?

I’m known wordwild for being sleepy all day.

Let’s all give a group Hugh to hexar!

sorry I’m not 23 and I don’t like neckrubs, actually I don’tt know what they are and the word is not on the dictionary!

I won’t coment it

I am very happy coma (in my language, this is a dirty word for vagina)

Thank goodness I don’t need topy spelling
I already spell bad, naturaly!

Don’t joke me

How do you know that my intent wasn’t to make you belive that my intent is that one, that you think it is now. but really my intent is the oposite of that one!

I thought (is it spealed that way?)
that when you where getting in the initial stages of illumination you began to shine like a light bulb, and you began seing other things shining like
light bulbs……..
Or squirelles!

Went to play soccer on monday at 2 in the morning, and ended up taking a friend to the hospita….
With an injured feet.

Minimalist lyrics?

I was starting to get worried:.
I don’t know why, but everything that I write or say
doesn’t make any sence at all:!

Jessu
My language skills are getting worst everyday!
Even I can’t read what I write.

I don’t mis-spell I’m creating a new language!

Hey, Kaka means shit!

Actually my problem is that, i can’t write a correct sentence in any language!

I’m dislexic, I have two right hands
The Book of Politics

It’s not to late, the problem can still be solved.
Laura Bush should be Killed, and W should be forced to marry Al Gore, then they could go changing places, as the president, and 1st lady.
And the world would be at peace again!

U are too barbarians, U still have the death penalty. (and women with very large hairs in texas)

Weird Weird very weird…
What is wrong with south USA?
In texas you can’t have anal sex….

I’m thinking of putting a bomb in some governement buildings when the government is in ther.

It is so funny seing people fighting in moldavian.

The canadians are canadians
Isn’t Canada a Monarchy?

Lebanon is a real weird country too!
I think that theire national sport is killing each other!


The Book of Holidays

I don’t like rudolf
He is always drunk and driving…
Somebody will end up dead!

next weekend I will be putting some laxative in the cakes on the backery near by, to make a nice easter to everybody!

on every Friday the 13th I will Drink a Cuba Libre in memory of something, that i can’t remenber, and I won’t remenber at the end of the night either, ‘though I will spend the whole night trying to remenber….
And I will eat some chewing gumm…
The Cuba Libre is the Blood
and The Chewing gumm hid the body…

really bad things have happened on saturday the 14th. Like once I saw a man flying something like 50 metros (the first person I saw dying).

I think we should make, every day, the 23rd day of each mounth!

from this friday on, I’ll be at a party called The Funeral.

I’m totally dead, I’ve slept one hour last night, and I’ve been sleeping about 3 hours per night….
I’ve been in something called praxis, wich only just started, that is I’ve been covering other people with flour, ketchup, detergents, lard, yogyurt, etc, etc, etc…
last night, about 24 years ago, I got really drunk, and since then I slept for one hour, so I decided to come here, and tell’yall why I’m not posting at the moment….
then you take them, put clean film around theire hair, and etc.
and then you do this stupid games with them… they don’t play sink:( cause they are freshmen(women, moustly women) and they aren’t very smart yet…
anyway this is all done while the students executing the praxis are dresses in the university’s custom wich is a 3 piece suit, and this really heavy cape, with a hood to put on your head

oh, in here, tha labor day, is in the 1st of May…!
this is stupid but day rimes with May
May the force be with Y’all!


The Book of Confusion

Jihaddddddd
Kill hem all
destroy theyr homes
rape theyr mother (or theyr fathers acording to your sex and your sexual orientations)
Burn them
or hang them
by the way!
who r them?

Green Tree
Yellow
Wind!

What where U taking man?

Yes, actually I think I’ve heard of him….
but he is really mentaly hill.
I think he is in the middle of the Atlantic in a nutt house.

I go there sometimes, but i think that the people who hang around don’t have arms!

Wasn’t Charles Manson safe enough?
Did he kill anyone?

Yes they piss litellary…
But I don’t know if they know that theire piss marks the territory!

Simple word association….
California… Bullfighting….
Do they kill the bulls in bullfighting in california?

I’m not trailler trash
but If I lived in the US
I would be trailler trash, so I’m just technically not trailler trash!

Does anyone remember that crazy guy, in Oman or Qtar or something like that, who didn’t allow, the use of shoes, sunglasses, and things that derive from oil… Like, he had a car, but it was pulled by slaves. And he didn’t allow, his subjects to study either, his son was arested, after finishing school in uk, etc.
Oh those russians!

I think Psyche is a Pedophile (another greek word)

Plutos is that blind guy that carries a horn arround!

I always kinda tought that you where a nightmare in God’s mind!

Why am I the only one who doesn’t recive e-mail virus?

I don’t drive (there would be a lot less of persons in europe if I drove).

Clethus?
I just love the name Clethus!

I’m a wind head and I find almoust everything particulary amusing!

Abducted should be translated to “”raptado”” and it’s translated to “”abduzidos”” lolll

silence desconcentrastes me a little bit

I hsve to copy other people’s google

I think i will start glowing apples to cars

I think that I will start to ask a randsome to the world, not to bathe.

Isn’t a Jake a trojan horse tatic kind of thingy?

aren’t there a lot os Zz around here?
I would like to be an X or an Y

Ararita Ararita Ararita

May I assassinate the guestbook?

actually I don’t know, but it would be very complicated to do, since they are very very low! they don’t have any floors!

I have no advice, nor anything interesting to say!

I had a dog named Diana once!

don’t you have fingers?

hey, you are a weirdo.

I on this day of even, resent the reference to my people has a mage.
(don’t know why, but I don’t think I like four letter words….
Maybe it is because of my first name… it’s a four letter word.
And maybe it is because of my second name… it is a four letter word)

I heard that the queen never once used her bathroom, the one that she takes with her where she goes inside the UK,….
So is it true that the queen doesn’t piss?

I used to be the patron saint of vacuum clenaers and vibrators, or something like that, but now I’m dead!

do you smell funny?

Bad Ju Ju
really Bad Ju Ju
but why can’t I stop laughing?

I Just called to say I love you!
Actualy I didn’t
But I love you anyway…

I have a friend who studys in england, and he told me that, in rural england, they have burnet a pedo-psychiatrist house down, because they thought he was a pedophile….

I sunk Caligula’s Horse,
I proclaim him, patron saint of Trojan Downloads!

I almoust swear, that yesterday I heard a cat barking.

Another person who would make a rather good discordian saint in Christo Javacheff. At firt because, we could have something like the anti-christ, but in this case, we could have an Anti-Christus.
Second, because e wraps things, he could be the saint of pure capitalism, gift shops and tv-shop. We could print his had wraped in nyllon in money.
thirdly, because I don’t remenber any other good reason, and I have to go now, so I’ll send this, so that y’all can had your own personal reasons.

I’m not french, and you are not german, I don’t think you should call me a peasent.

When I was an elephant, I had sex with a rabbit, and I gave birth to a flying mouse!

My friend was hit by a flying telephone.

This is weird, but my body hair is getting bigger and bigger by the day…
It is even groing on my back. but the strangest thing is that my mother only has pubic hair, and hair on her head!

I don’t really remenber why I’m writing this…

I’m The Poncho Lama
I’m the Pancho Lama

My father had the same problem… He started going to the psichiatrist… and he gave him some pills, well that made it worse…
The fortunate think for my father was that he caught tuberculosis on a subway, and he wen’t to a really nice clinic at the end of the world with some really good

nuns and psicologists.

Fish don’t have has much blood has meat


The Book of Explanations

I guess I’m silly all the time.
But moust men aren’t.
I guess… I’ve never noticed either!

I found out where my way of sayng things comes from….
I just noticed(actually I didn’t noticed) that my mother has this way of sayng everyfing that goes trough her mind, and my father has an kind of weird way of saying things that often offends people.

and I don’t speak english that well…
and I’m not a very good person to be around when your down, cause I tend to say things that make you feel worst when I’m not thinking (wich is moust of the time), If you need anything in particular mail me!

I spend my whole time, hanging around deeply disturbed persons who are
becoming math students!

Sorry I am new here…
Remeber Remenber Remenber Zion
Tell me a Tale of Shem and of Shaum!
Peny for the widows son?

i put a moff ball on my nose once!

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