Second: The always boring AndR, k.s.c. came up with an idea a while ago. While pondering the merits of this idea, I discovered my sign, thus confirming to me that we need more Discordian filk.

Erisomatic Astrology. The POEE calendar, supplied in the first and holiest of Discordian documents, the Principia Discordia, provides ingredients for an easy way to determine a person’s Discordian “sign.” I suggest you simply add the element for the day of the week you were born on with the season you were born in for a total of 25 possible signs. For example: Orange Confusion, Pungent Discord.

Third: The filk.

The Commodes: Sweet Chaos

Show me a Goddess that’s crazy
Show me a clergy so high
I’ll show you chaos that’ll last forever
Flying high so high

Show me a place where thoughts are the thinkers
And all the fnords you see eating you yeah
I’d wish the fnord ate all hateful people
Then there’d be no more illuminating to do

Oh sweet chaos
Oh sweet chaos
Oh whoo sweet sweet chaos

They immanentized the eschaton
High on a hill
Take a ride on the machine mindtrap
And you’ll know nothing is for real

The world is filled with all the cabbage people
Trying to find their way
All they need is a hand to guide them
To a brighter day

Oh sweet chaos
Oh sweet chaos
Oh whoo sweet sweet chaos

Sweet chaos that comes through the ages
Reach out and touch my soul
Give my life no more meaning
And everyone a heart of fnord

Oh sweet chaos
Oh sweet chaos
Oh whoo Sweet sweet choas
You need it: chaos
Oh sweet chaos

I know your searching
I know your searching
For a little chaos
A little order and illumination
And I know it’s been hard
Trying to find your way
But you got to keep on searching
Harder day by day
‘Cause I want you
And you, and you you you you and you and you and you and you
To stand on up, yes ma’am
Put a little chaos in your heart
A little heart in your chaos
Together we can see the fnords
Listen to me
Don’t dogma too hard
On what She’s trying to say
‘Cause this chaos
Chaos is the only way
Nothing but Eris

Oh sweet chaos
Oh sweet chaos
Oh whoo Sweet sweet choas

When you’re down and out
And you can’t see a way
And you need a fnord
Well now just call on Eris

1. Is Eris willing to prevent Order, but not able? Then She is not omnipotent.
2. Is She able, but not willing? Then She is malevolent.
3. Is She both able and willing? Then whence cometh Order?
4. Is She neither able nor willing? Then why call Her Goddess?
5. In conclusion: Eris is a weak, hateful, Order-inflicting bitch.

The Erisian Pentabuttal:

1. Are you saying that the only proof of a woman’s power is Her ability to fulfill your desires? Why should She prevent Order?
2. Are you calling Her evil for not catering to your every whim? Perhaps She isn’t the malevolent one.
3. Even when you admit that it’s not Her fault, you still place the responsibility for preventing Order on Her. Pull your own weight.
4. Respect. That’s why.
5. In conclusion: You’re an unreasonable, spoiled, lazy asshole.

They’re public domain if you want them.

I was going to do a whole set, but I wasn’t happy with Mal1 and Syadasti hinted that it would be too much frustration with too little reward so I didn’t bother finishing it. Gulik is okay, though.

I’m now going in a completely different direction with the project. Hopefully, it’ll work.

Ask me five questions. I’ll answer anything!

I heard they aren’t even allowed labor unions; I mean, who are they going to blame when management closes the oil wells?

Foreign policy, gay marriage, telling progressives to “make me care”, the health care debacle where they kept rewriting it to please the Con. The complete lack of change. The dismissive attitude towards hope. Seriously, the more I see of Obama, the more I wonder whether he’s just our old friend George in for a third term.

Mark Twain was right. If voting made any difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.

I’ll go one step further: If the president had any power, they wouldn’t let a black man get elected. So, the good news is: it’s not the black man’s fault. The bad news is: they’ll blame him for it anyway.

I am slowly becoming as cynical as the Troll Discordians. This upsets me because I don’t like hating. Please, I beg of you all, how do I not become a victim of society’s complete and total fuckedupness? And, for once, locking myself in my room, curling into a ball, and writing erotic fiction about teddy bears is not the answer.

Abortion is [...] not to be used as a constant easy-out card for women who do not want to take responsibility for a child.

Does consent to swimming imply consent to drowning? (Does consent to sex imply consent to pregnancy?)

The common reply involves knowing and accepting the risks, which we can all agree with.

But what if we do accept the risk? What if we learn to swim and wear our water wings? What if our wings burst and we get a lung-full of water and panic and go under? At what point does it stop being acceptable to stand by and say, “It’s your fault; I won’t help you.”

The answer is: it’s never okay to stand by and let others suffer. That’s hurtful, and hurting people is bad. Instead, even if we can’t swim, we should call someone who can, look for flotation devices that we can throw to them, etc. Helping people is good.

So, even if they are being completely irresponsible and end up with an unwanted pregnancy, it’s not okay for us to abandon them.

My desire to make them take responsibility is trumped by my moral obligation to help them in any way I can.

Let’s have at it: A Discordian Advanced Debate and Apologetics Golden Something or Other (DADAGASM (Am I doing it right?)). The topic this thread: abortion. On Demand or Satellite? Without Apology or Fries With That?

(This post would have been slightly almost-funnier had I found a way to link directly to the rings. Thou shalt scroll down.)

1. Work-Safety First
2. High Weirdness by Male (title courtesy of Ratatosk)
3. Fortean Phenomena
4. Broken Images
5. Fnord

And about the holidays.

Let me know what you think.

Updated: Second drafts, now with red Gregorian weekends.

Updated: Third drafts, now with differently red Gregorian weekends, and more holidays. The About page has also been updated.

This year, I thought I’d ask for theme ideas from the community, rather than just winging it and ending up with “Girls of Discordia.” (How unimaginative!) In the absence of any good ideas, I’ll go with nude male models. (Fair is fair.)

Also, Holy Day requests are welcome, but not guaranteed since I’ve already found a lot of them just laying around. (Also: sorry about several misplaced holy days in 3176. Let’s just forget this year ever happened… is happening. Can we forget something that has not yet happened?)

Just knowing that this completely unironically stolen depiction of the atheist’s invisible pink unicorn exists has restored my hope for humanity! Welcome back, goddess worship!

In other news, I’ve been playing with spray-paint in non-ventilated areas.