The 23 Apples of Eris

This list was compiled by Episkipos Cain after an extended outing on MysticWicks, a pagan message forum. After Discordians board a place en mass, you start to see this nitpicky tribal mentality where No Dogs Or Discordians are allowed because we’re not a real religion. Cain’s comments are in italics.

1. “I’m just sick of it. Every time I come to MW there’s a new issue with you and a select group of Discordians. So you worship chaos, big fuging deal. Give it a rest already.”

Try replacing Discordians with Wiccans and Chaos with Triple Goddess and let the accusations of persecution flood in. Also, hilariously, this was in reply to a post by TGGR parodying the views of select forum members, to a degree.

2. “Yeah, I have seen alot of it popping up on the boards. I also noticed that every time I see one [a Discordian], it seems to be laden with arguments and negativity. Something as simple as an introduction, turns into mayhem!! I’ll pass on those threads and posts thank you, they take the enjoyment out of conversation. I have never seen as many arguments on the boards as I have since those posts have started.”

3. “We didn’t set out to hurt Discordianism. We set out to rid our community of trolls. We hope our community will be a better place as a result.”

90% of those “trolls” ‘just happened’ to be Discordians.

4. “Someone hacked into my ebay account. Loverly. Very mature. Guard your butt Ssanf, you’ve just painted a big old target on it.”

Incidentally, none of us were behind the hacking.

5. “I think a couple of bad apples came in here, calling themselves Discordians (and I don’t have any way to judge whether they really were or not) and they started baiting people and trying to cause more chaos than is strictly natural, and when the shit hit the fan they rallied some of the other Discordians around them because they were “being persecuted.”

6. “Congratulations. This isn’t the forum for Chaos. This is a sanctuary, not a factory.”

Because Discordians…like factories? I don’t get it.

7. “The most fatuous, manipulative, and venomous people to be found here are all of the discordian genre.”

8. “A successful and a good discordian, is one who gets others angry, upset, and is skilled at mocking and belittling them.The better they are at it, the more they are respected by thier peers.”

Partially true, but hardly the whole story (also, fixed for spelling and grammatical errors).

9. “A True Discordian does not spend all their time making sarcastic posts on internet forums. In fact, a majority of “Discordians” you see online are not really true Discordians, but nothing more than attention seekers.”

Apparently reading the Principia once makes you an expert on what other people really believe too, at least going by the above poster.

10. “I’ve always, always regarded the Discordians as being people who chose to be Discordians because they can’t be arsed to actually do any work to develop a relationship with a specific deity, they were too wishy-washy to choose just one path, and they just want to be a mishmash of everything and not have to work at learning about rituals or traditions or any such thing as that. “Oooh, I’m a Discordian! I can do whatever I want! Which means I can just SAY I’m a pagan but I never bother doing rituals or studying any kind of sacred texts or developing a relationship with deity, etc! I can go around and not be Christian, but I won’t quite be anything else either because I just can’t commit and I can’t be ARSED to commit!”

Spoiled brats of the pagan world, I thought. I really don’t have a lot of respect for Discordians. They just strike me as spiritually lazy.”

Too hilarious to comment on.

11. “Just out of curiosity are any of you discordians raising or will raise your children in your beleif system?…I know silly question, of course you would, but with my experiences with Discordians and Chaos Mages lately I would be concerned for the child.”

12. “mmm, it’s like a troll breeding facility isn’t it. Maybe there’s an undergound complex like Area 51 where the genetically engineer them?”

Said in reference to EB&G forums

13. “In other words, Discordianism, like postmodernism, means never having to say your sorry.”

14. “I’m starting to think discordian is just another word for annoying. It certainly doesn’t seem to have any hallmarks of a consistent or coherent belief system.”

15. “At least Satanists HAVE a worldview. After reading this thread, I’m convinced that discordians not only don’t, but will actively mock anyone who does.”

16. “Followers of Eris…I will not allow you to spread ‘discord’ in my forum just like I won’t let Christians proselytize.”

Because its practically the same thing, right?