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Archive of posts tagged Eris

Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht ON SALE!

Posted by  on 18 October 2012, 11:49 am

Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of ShamlichtAfter legal complication, printing problems and other technical difficulties, Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht is now available!  And if you’re on our list of esteemed contributors (see below), you can get your copy at discount!

S. John Ross aka Pope Leo (GURPS, Cumberland Games & Diversions, Warehouse 23, Novus Ordo Discordia: The Gospel of Pesher the Gardener) penned the outstanding foreplay.  Our blurb writers include Alan Moore, Robert Anton Wilson (who saw an early draft), Rev. Ivan Stang, R. Crumb, Sondra London aka The Erisian Elestria, Reverend Jason “Pee Kitty” Levine, Adam Gorightly, and others.

 

Quotes about the Book

“This inspiring volume makes a splendid auric pippin to be lobbed amongst the bickering goddesses of our contemporary debate.” — Alan Moore (V for Vendetta, Watchmen, Lost Girls)

“Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia may become to the 21st century what Principia Discordia became to the 20th.  Which means–I don’t know what the hell that means.” — Robert Anton Wilson (The Illuminatus! Trilogy, Schrödinger’s Cat Trilogy, Masks of the Illuminati)

“Buy it and BURN THIS BOOK FOR ‘BOB’!” — Rev. Ivan Stang (The Book of the SubGenius, High Weirdness By Mail, the Church of the SubGenius)

 

Buy it and Burn It!

Feel free to buy two copies, burn one publicly, and hide the other!

The book is now available for $20.00 $15.00 American money at

http://www.amazon.com/Ek-sen-trik-kuh-Discordia-The-Tales-Shamlicht/dp/1937536181.  Or even better you can buy it through our store at http://discordia.loveshade.org/store/.

 

Esteemed Contributors

We would love to be able to give a free copy of Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht to everyone who contributed, but as you can see from the long list below that would not be practical.  However, if you are on the following list, you can receive a special discount for a book if you buy through Amazon.com!  Just send us an email with the name you used to contribute to:

edcheap@loveshade.org

We will assume you want your Amazon.com discount sent to the email you use to contact us unless you tell us otherwise.

If your name isn’t on this list, contact us anyway!  We might have accidentally left your name off and might even be feeling generous.  Unlike Pat Robertson, we aren’t perfect.

Adam Gorightly, Alan Moore, Al Barger, Alden Loveshade, Alien, Anonymous Lifeform, Ashibaka aka Shii, Bellydancer Upyours, Binky the WonderSkull, BloodStar, Brother Femtomoment, Brother Kob, Bumper Bunny, Captain ‘Sesame Seed’ Rogers, C. S. Martin & Steve Lewis, Danacasso, Dorian Jack (family), Dr. Isaac Clarke, Dr. Octopussy, Dr. Sinister Craven, Emily Sander aka Zoey Zane (family), Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko, Gamemaster Loveshade, Greg Hill (family), Herr Bookmonger, His Wholiness the Rev. DrJon, Icarus 23, John Wilkes Harvey Oswald, Kerry Thornley (family), Lani Lina Lian Lain, Max Flax Beeblewax, Miley Ray Cyrus, Miley Spears, Nixie Nurita, Nurse Devine Stripling, Paco the Fruit Bat, Perlie the Pony Girl, Pope Higgins, Pope Hilde, Princess Unicornia, Professor Cramulus, Professor Mu-Chao, R. Crumb, Reverend Loveshade, Rev. Ivan Stang, Reverend Jason ‘Pee Kitty’ Levine, Robert Anton Wilson (family), Saint The Mary, Sister Hooter, Sister Lorraine of Fairy Tree, S. John Ross aka Pope Leo, Sondra London, Sparky Newberg, St. Verbatim, TawTew the Naturally Perfumed, Toby Bruno, Untroubled Teen, Zeus, Xists.

This offer will expire at the End of the World at midnight Dec. 21, 2012!  If the world doesn’t end then, you have until midnight Pat Pineapple Day, Jan. 18, 2013!  So claim your discount now!

Anonymous Lifeforms reporting for Reverend Loveshade

Filed under Announcements, books, Counterculture, Discordian Literature, Eris in the Mainstream, Games, High Madness, Operation Mindfuck, philosophy. Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,
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Early Illuminations

Posted by  on 23 May 2010, 2:39 pm

Early in my illumination, during the beginnings of the 23 Apples of Eris cabal, I had a spontaneous hallucination of walking through the endless plains of Limbo.

I wandered the dusty, blasted landscape for what felt like Aeons. Then, through the blowing dust and sand, I saw a glimmer of light. Neon red characters winked at me through the howling storm. As I approached I began to make out other details. The still unreadable baleful red characters were hugged in two curves of eerie blue. The winds died for the 23rd time that hour and a tingle ran up my hominid spine at what the calm revealed.

Squatting on the desolate plains of Limbo, a single building stands intact. A wide low rectangle of dark glossy stone which the eye slides across like it wants to look somewhere else. At least, ‘rectangular’ was the only word my feeble monkey brain cold conjure to describe the structure. The corners of the object were the most disconcerting, refusing to be statically observed, forcing your gaze back to the mind killing landscape while they resumed their non-Euclidian folding unobserved.

Remembering what had originally caught my attention I calmed my panicked glancing about. Yes! There, on the front the the building. What? No… that’s not possible….

I crept closer, a hundred warnings from a hundred Mythos tales shouting from the back of my mind. At last my cautious approach delivered me just out of arm’s reach from the thing.

Affixed at convenient eye level, and next to a large door that appeared to be covered in strange leather and brass studs, a cheerful, neon red-and-blue ‘Open’ sign flickered at me in the way that only well used neon can.

Mind blown, the robot consciousness takes over. I feel as if I float above my body, watching numbly as it opens the door with a simple push. I watch as I walk stiffly through the opening into the waiting tendrils of mist beyond the open portal. My perspective follows, floating towards the impossible entrance. Out of the corner of my eye I notice the great studded leather door begins to swing closed. For a second I wonder if it will close before my mind enters the space beyond, leaving me disembodied and stranded among the sands of nowhere. I panic. Time seems to slow, the door creeping across the last foot of space like a shadow across a sundial. The adrenaline hits my system like a cop tasing a 12 year old girl, I scream, flailing and running forward until my throat feels like it will bleed.

Before I can realize that a bleeding throat means I still have a meat-sack to inhabit, something tough, wet, and fishy smelling hits me square in the face so hard I fly backward. I black out as my head slams onto the hard ground.

I wake, head afire, eyes screwed closed against any light. I hear horrible wet slithering sounds. Then, as if in response a gruff older man’s voice. “Y’ think he’ll come to?” More brief wet sounds. My head feels like it is wrapped in cotton and my eyelids won’t respond to my will, only twitching briefly. Suddenly, a thought that is most definitely not mine presses against my still fuzzy mind. This is very difficult to put into word-symbols after the fact, please bear with me. It was as if a giant tentacle the texture of a cat’s tongue wrapped itself around my mind. I felt a dizzying lurch of movement and in my minds eye catch glimpses of strange underwater architecture towering over beds of seaweed all lit in an otherworldy green glow. The rush of motion stops and I.. I… imagine I guess is the word, a huge luminous orb set into rolling folds of green algae covered flesh towering before me. The mottled patterns across the surface shift slightly and I realize that this immense eye is looking me up and down.

Forcing every part of my mind that is trying to convince me that just giving up and going insane would be easiest and most logical thing to do to shut the hell up, I realize that I can still feel my eyelids pressed tightly together. I snap them open and blink into dingy overhead light.

Standing before me are two large figures. The first my sight slides off of, like trying to focus on the corners of the building. The second is a large, muscled older man with a grizzled beard and an eyepatch. He wears a stained brown apron and is cleaning a large glass mug with a dingy towel and stares at the first figure. I notice a name-tag on the apron. It says

Hello my name is…
WOTAN:BARTENDER.

Suddenly the first figure shifts and the wet slithering sound returns. At the same time, another sand-paper textured alien thought pierces my mind, projecting words which I know aren’t mine, yet feel like lead hitting granite blocks when they appear:

HE’LL BE FINE. POOR SUCKA JUST NEEDS A DRINK.

My mind scrabbles looking for a detail on the second figure that I can focus my gaze on. After maddening glimpses of folded wings, terrible claws, writhing tentacles, and barnacle covered… wait.. was that an elbow? a knee? …my gaze locks onto a familiar rectangular shape. A name tag:

Hello my name is…
C’THULHU:BOUNCER

I pass the fuck out. Again.

Luckily, when I next awake there is a drink in my hand and Wotan is passing me a blunt.

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The Order of the Pineapple–Nominations 2010

Posted by  on 4 December 2009, 9:37 pm

ORDER OF THE PINEAPPLE: NOMINATIONS

You may know that the Order of the Pineapple (OP) is our second oldest and most truly “this-gives-you-bragging-rights” DisOrder. Traditionally, it honors those who have made exceptional contributions of discord and eccentricity in service to the estorical Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild (ECG) and later to the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild (D & D of the ECG). But the times they are a-changin’. As the original ECG faded into the grey mist, as the Shamlicht Kids Club grew into reality, and as the neo-Discordians have become so interconnected, we’ve expanded it somewhat. However, some direct or indirect contribution to D & D of the ECG or the ECG, and service to the cause of discord and eccentric tendencies is still required.

It’s time once again to think of nominating worthies for next year’s award. While only a member of the DisOrder can technically make a nomination, we’ll take suggestions for deserving trouble-makers from anyone. Send your suggestions including reasons why we should consider your proposed member to our email listed on our homepage (link is below). Please send them no later than Santa Claus Day (25 December 2009).

OP Estorical notes

Our oldest DisOrder is The Unknown DisOrder which began in 1981 and technically predates the ECG. The OP is our second oldest, and was first awarded on 18 January 1982, and since then the award is always given on 18 January, which honors our patron saint and the ECG mascot Pat Pineapple. It was most recently awarded in 2009 to willing recipients Steve Jackson and Reverend Loveshade (anyone is free to turn down the award, although as far as we know no one ever has).

We are missing several years in which the OP may have been given. If you have any information on awardees from 1984 to 2006, please email us at the address listed on our homepage at http://discordia.loveshade.org/main.html.

Submitted for your approval,

  • Reverend Loveshade, Episkopos D & D of the ECG (OP 2009)
  • Princess Unicornia, Co-Founder Mythics of Harmonia (OP 2007)
  • Alien, Founding Vice President ECG (OP 1982)

          http://discordia.loveshade.org/xtra/pineapple.html

Filed under Announcements, Nusepaper Discordia. Tagged , , , , ,
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Liber 3167

Posted by  on 26 November 2009, 10:15 am

Part I

Chaos

1. Prince Mu-Chao was in the glade, and it was there he chewed hay. As he chewed his hay in the glade, he said, “Yea, the hay is good hay and it is bad hay and it is somewhat good hay and it is somewhat bad hay and hey, was that a blue colored moose?”

2. It was a blue colored moose, but as it got closer it changed into a red cow, and as it got closer than that it became an orange pistachio, and as it got even closer, it became a pink heron, and as it got closest it became a purple dinosaur.

3. So Prince Mu-Chao said unto it, “Barney, whyfore do you strut and sway and turn into various colored animals before my very eyes and fuck with my mind so?”

4. And Barney said unto Prince Mu-Chao, “Of what do you speak, Prince? I am not changing color and I thinkest my name is not Barney, for no one has ever called me such in my immortal life. I am the Goddess Eris and I have come to answer the questions thou hast not yet asked me on this very night.”

5. And Prince Mu-Chao apologized profusely and made excuses and referred to the lysergic acid in his system as the culprit for the misrepresentation of the Goddess by his eyes and mind. And so the Goddess forgave and shortly gave answers to questions the Prince did not even know to ask as of yet.

6. After this, Prince Mu-Chao began acting very strangely, for he began touching himself in public and eating Gobstoppers with peanut butter and even went so far as to write about himself in the third person. Verily, something strange was a toe in Denmark.

7. And he began talking to grasshoppers and listening to melons and peeing in Dixie cups and frying Hot Wheels and pinching his cheek in a very suggestive and revolting way, and spilling his seed in the dust.

8. When asked about his indecent, illicit and sometimes just fucking weird behavior, Prince Mu-Chao said only, “Beware the Goddess, for she is a real Bitch and will ruin your life in her mysterious ways. For that is what she does, Turnip. The Goddess fucks with you not so you gain enlightenment, or so you become a better person, or so you come to your senses. No, the Goddess fucks with you because it’s fun for Her to do so.

9. “Eris was a freight train,” Prince Mu-Chao continued, “and I was a duck. Oh baby, baby, the road is marching on. Fnordits and Granfalloons I beg of you give me my simple yet frabjuous caloo-callay!”

10. Prince Mu-Chao did stammer and scream much more than just this, and yet the Holy Tape Recorder did stop taping at this point, for we used Cheap Generic Batteries and not Energizers, nor Duracells, and so we lost the Holy Word as told to us by Prince Mu-Chao.

11. Yet all is not lost for the Goddess came back and attempted to speak to the Prince again who, when told that the Goddess was calling on him waxed sorely pissed and jiggled his willy at the rest of the 23 Apples and screamed, “NO, no, no, no, NO!”

12. The Apples wanted to cover up their mistake with the Holy Tape Recorder and so they laughed in the Prince’s face and ushered Eris into Mu-Chao’s padded cell despite his cries and mewlings and moanings, closing and locking the door behind her to protect themselves from any after-effects of Eris’ Chaos.

13. The next morning the Apples unlocked and opened the padded door and behold! And stuff! Eris and Prince Mu-Chao were no longer in the room. The Prince had apparently escaped in the night and was probably dancing naked in a field of poppies or marigolds or magazines or something.

14. And so the Apples set upon the task of finding him and after having not found him, of looking for him, and after having not looked at him, of yelling for him, and after having not yelled at him, of going to the local pub and ordering several mugs of Guinness.

15. The Apples did get drunk, and they did pass out, and they did sleep.

16. In the meantime, Prince Mu-Chao was hiding in a silo on the edge of town mumbling obscenities at himself and at the dragons and the elephants that joined him in his once-serene setting.

17. He knew not how he got here, nor where his pants were, and yet he uttered his obscenities still and did get dizzy when he caught a whiff of one of the elephant’s cloud of pink gas and so, as at the beginning of this wholly book, the Prince became psy-enabled.

18. And upon his re-enabilization he saw St. Gulik, a giant cockroach, playing solitaire with the Ghost of Emperor Norton in one corner of the silo. The dragons and the elephants gave them both a wide berth. Fearing the onset of lunacy, the Prince blinked and squished his eyelids together tightly, yet when he opened them, the Holy Things were still playing solitaire.

19. “Oy!” Prince Mu-Chao said, even though he was not and is not Jewish. He slowly made his way around the silo and sat down beside the card players, who gave him long, pitying looks between playing their cards.

20. “Well, from the looks on your faces, I can see that you have news of not the good kind for me that I am going to hate. Verily, you can tell me; I will not punch you in the nose. Out with it, damn you!”

21. “Oy, vey!” St. Gulik said, even though he was not and is not Jewish. “The Lady told us to come and tell you that you can run, but you can’t Hyde, and not to step on her Blue Suede Shoes, and, oh yes, dial 867-5309,” he said, handing the Prince his Celestial Cell Phone. It was digital and the connection was good.

22. And so Prince Mu-Chao dialed the number and got a funny beeping tone, followed by a disembodied voice telling him that the number he dialed could not be reached. St. Gulik reminded him that he had to dial *5” to get out of Reality, and so the Prince dialed a *5” before 867-5309 and Eris picked up the phone, “Wrong number, please!”

23. “WHAT IS IT YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!?!” the Prince screamed into the phone, startling the elephants (but not the dragons, for dragons are very much used to people yelling when they are around).

24. “I just wanted to tell you to write another Holy Book entitled Liber 3167 and in it, chronicle your dealings with me to warn others that I am a bitch and should not be trusted.”

25. “I believe that,” said Prince, and he whistled a hearty tune as he walked back to 23 Apples Headquarters.

Continue reading ‘Liber 3167’ »

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